Really, listen: i don't care.
I've been away for a day, because i had an exam in university today. I started this morning, got there after an hour drive, studied for 4 hours, waited for 13 people that gave the exam ahead of myself and then got over with the exam. I got a 30/30. If you don't trust i can put a pic of my booklet with the exams votes.
And when i came back home, the first thing i did was literally throw myself on the couch and lay down there for an hour, because i was exhausted. In less than two weeks i have given two exams, reading and studying something like two thousands pages, maybe? Three books, and several notes taken during the lessons for sure.
I was exhausted. I didn't care for coming here and stand on attention for any possible requests that could have been done. This mod has been released like, three days ago. I can't sort out everything in less than a week.
You ask for different pilots? No problem man, i understand it. You like Barnesy12's pilots more than Wolfighter's ones, and that's not an issue for me. The first version of this mod i tried to release was based on partial work on them, but then i realized that there were issues with the required textures and i had to revert to the original Wolf's pilots, that are as good in my opinion, but less chaotic from a point of textures used and file structures of their relative folders. Either, i released them with Wolf's pilots, that are fantastic and without any doubt a massive improvement over the stock ones, or i held back this mod for another two weeks trying to get it compatible with both Wolf's and Barnesy's pilots at the same time.
Which it doesn't mean, that i wouldn't have done a future update to integrate the both of them, but simply that i didn't still have the time to do it. Because it's complicated, even for me.
And i've got other things to do too.
This is a hobby for me. I like modding and playing with this game, really.
And you know? Modding has even been helpful for me, quite like a therapy, it helps me relieve all the stress i get everyday with general life, work, university. Maybe it's like it for you too, and for many of us.
But it's just what it is: a game.
I'll be honest with you. I don't give a fuck if what i do is not perfect or not at the point of perfection someone would like it to be. I've done it this way, i've put some of my time into it. Heck, i look at it, and without doing major modifications to keep it compatible with existing skins, ordnances etc. i think i've even done a good job. I'm pretty much satisfied of how it came out, and i'm not one that is easily pleased with himself.
Listen: some months ago i was on the brink of leaving the modding world due to an argument with another modder.
I came to know that i got badmouthed by a fellow modder on another forum for one of my planes. And this has been a first good blow on me, but thanks to the people here at SAS, Crazyflak and Anto, most of all, i recovered from it.
It's just a game, i told myself, and i can't possibly be in good terms with anyone. Maybe i've been an asshole, that's higly probable, but i don't care. I don't think i've done wrong, and maybe i'm still too stupid so i can't still see it.
First blow. Taken, but out of it.
Then i discovered i have some health's issues. Let's say it's better for me if i avoid stress, because my intestines otherwise could get some bad ulcer, or something worse. And this came right when we were in the middle of a harsh discussion, a "great" flamewar between two sites.
Second hard blow. Here i was going to quit, and almost did. But the call for modding is too sweet not to listen to it. And so i came back.
And here we are today.
A pair of weeks ago i told my closest friends here on SAS that i was going to take a vacation, because i needed it. My father has recently passed away and trust me, it's not an easy thing to pass through, most of all when you're a paramedic and find your father already dead without the opportunity to do something to avoid it.
I'm still fightining my personal battle against guilt feelings and a sense of helplessness, that at days crumble me under his weight.
And this is the third blow.
Today i can say that i've finally reached the limit of my endurance.
I've come to a conclusion.
I don't care for flamewars. I don't care for battle between sites. I don't care if someone thinks i'm a asshole. I don't care if someone thinks that my work is rubbish. I don't care if you want something so bad, that you want it immediately and can't even wait for 4 days.
I just don't care. Because if i were to care that much, that would mean for me to feel sick. To feel enraged anytime someone tells me i'm an idiot, or a asshole, or that my work is rubbish. I don't care, there are other things in life more important than this for me.
If someone wants to stand on his throne and proclaim himself the genius of modding, or someone else goes ahead and says he's the only one that has accomplished the true spirit of modding and "friendliness", or someone else rises for the majesty of his realistic works, or someone else again is the only one officially recognized modding team.
Hey guys: i don't give a fuck, seriously.
I've a life outside of here, outside of this hobby.
And i don't care that much about the opinion of others. I can't care that much, otherwise my life would be crumbled.
Can you get what i'm telling you? What i'm telling everyone of you?
I'm flattened out and once for good.
And i'm going to take a long vacation for real this time.
Because i need it, and deserve it.
But i think that many of you have to come to the conclusion that this is a game. Stop trolling. Stop acting like assholes. Stop the delusions and the harshness. No one of us profits anything from it.
We should mod this game only for our own pleasure, not as a competition with anyone else.
None of us is better than anyone else. And even if some of us are more creative, or more "honest", or more anything else, that's just because everyone of us is different.
Summing up: you can be whatever you want to be, and i still won't give a fuck.
And i'm pretty much sure it's the same for many other people around here. So, to whoever this tirade is addressed to, and it's addressed to a plurality of persons, both here and in other forums, i hope you catch my drift. Because otherwise all this stupid nonsense that is recently once more and again going on, will take a toll on your healths.
And this is the only thing that i care for, that you can have good life after all.
And since i want a good life for me, for my health etc., here and now i take my long vacation.
Guys at SAS, my friends, you can remove my admin tools etc.
It has been a pleasure to stick around with you
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Topic: P-51s Overhaul_3.1.13 Updated (Read 29070 times)
